In which we find an zoological analog for the DePaul mascot.
Today, we will answer a question that has dogged Big East followers for many years: What the hell is that thing?
The official DePaul website provides no useful information. His name is Dibs, which stands for "demon in a blue suit." The school's nickname, Demons, evolved from "D-men", and the color blue was added by vote of students in 1901. Which doesn't tell us the one thing we all want to know: what the hell is that thing?
We at Voodoo Five are proud to announce that we have developed a theory as to the zoological identity of the DePaul mascot. Dibs appears to be an extinct "demon duck of doom", a massive flightless bird that roamed the Australian outback many years ago.
Technically, there are two different species that answer to "demon duck of doom": the Bullockornis, or "ox-bird", and the Dromornis, more commonly known as Stirton's Thunder Bird. Either variation is about 9 feet tall, 600 pounds, with a beak that could shear a telephone cable. Imagine an ostrich, but built like Prince Fielder. And unlike Prince Fielder, the demon duck of doom may have been a meat-eater. The size, sharpness, and lack of specialization in the Bullockornis/Dromornis beak has led some researchers to theorize that these birds were carnivores.
Our research suggests that Dibs here is a stylized Bullockornis or Dromornis. They share the "demon" nickname. The mascot has feathers, suggesting avian roots. The goatee could be a stylized representation of the bird's razor beak, so as to appear less intimidating. The body type doesn't match, but no human could wear the mascot suit if it did, so artistic license must be accounted for. And those are definitely the soulless eyes of a predator. Alternate theories as to the zoological nature of Dibs are welcomed in the comments.
Tune in Saturday for our next Big East Extinction is Forever, in which we answer the question: What the hell is a bearcat? The answer may surprise you, and it will certainly gross you out.