(DISCLAIMER: This contest is for entertainment purposes only. No actual money is being wagered.)
Section 126.96.36.199 of the Protect Your Unit Official Rules says:
If a parlay has to be recalculated as a single bet, that single bet is not subject to vigorish.
And wouldn't you know it, that came up this week. Prolific parlayer ulismyhothotsex put 30 units on Vanderbilt-Texas A&M over 68.5 (the final score was 56-24), and Nevada +5 over UNLV (UNLV won 27-22). The parlay thus includes one win and one push. The push is removed, leaving only one bet. Per the above rule, that bet is not subject to the usual -110 house payout. Our Cardinal friend wins 30 fake dollars instead of the $27.27 a straight bet would normally pay.
Elsewhere in Parlayland, it's heartbreak for diddybull32. His $230 play came up one point short, when a last-second garbage time touchdown by Maryland cut Clemson's winning margin to 13. His other picks were Ohio State and Central Florida, who both covered easily.
The big winner of the week was danj725, with a net gain of $242.91. Despite missing on Miami and Akron, he correctly picked Auburn and Louisville against the spread, and cashed in big on Houston's beatdown of Rutgers - the Cougars were a +236 underdog.
That wasn't enough to vault Dan into first place, though, as chuckycrater's $58.09 net gain this week was enough to keep him in the lead. ucscott moves into third place. Full standings:
The Floyd's Money Team Most Degenerate Bet of The Week goes to AndrewP, for hitting on Furman +47 versus LSU. Furman covered the spread easily; in fact, it was only 20-16 at halftime, even though Furman is only 3-4 in I-AA play. Is it possible the SEC just isn't that good this year? Missouri leads the Eastern Division, Florida and several other teams are underachieving, and non-conference results are unimpressive (the league's best win is either Texas, UCF, or Virginia Tech).
Not a lot of spite betting this week, other than the usual bets against Skip Holtz. But I found a certain meanness in zls44's $1 bet on first-year I-AA program Abilene Christian to beat New Mexico State outright. NMSU is 0-7, got screwed in realignment, and had to put its successful basketball program in a far-flung second-rate conference. You'd think UConn, of all schools, would know how that feels.
And Abilene Christian damn near won that game. They scored with 18 seconds left, and recovered an onside kick, but their Hail Mary/tip drill/lateral play was barely nudged out of bounds six yards short of glory. There was a flag, but apparently it was on an Abilene Christian player for angrily kicking the pylon. Which means that a guy who lost to Angelo State last season is mad at losing to New Mexico State. And you thought USF was bad at fooball. Anyway, that's your Randolph & Mortimer Spite Bet of the Week.
The big game of Week 10 is Miami-Florida State. Also on the agenda are Oklahoma State-Texas Tech, North Carolina-N.C. State, and Michigan-Michigan State. The American moves to weeknights, with Cincinnati-Memphis on Wednesday and USF-Houston on Halloween night. No Tuesday night game this week - apparently there's some other sport on.