"SORRY ABOUT YOUR PARLAYS, GUYS, LOL JK" - Rushel Shell
(DISCLAIMER: These picks are for entertainment value only. Now that Collin and I have left Nevada's legal and sanctioned sports books, no actual wagering is being performed.)
Well this is going to be hilarious since a bunch of people bet tons of fake money in parlays that included Virginia Tech giving 10 points to Pittsburgh. Here we go.
I'm still ahead after two weeks, so my picks are first.
Here are my own picks. I thought about taking Rutgers and the points because I don't think USF will win by more than a touchdown, but eh, forget it.
- $50 Virginia Tech -10 over Pittsburgh - Pittsburgh may not even score in this game. They suck and I love it.
- $150 on Louisville -3 over North Carolina - FREE MONEY! GET YOUR FREE MONEY HERE!
- $25 on BYU -4 vs. Utah - Another line that seems really low.
So I'm not in it for too much after Pittsburgh won that game, but Chris from VU Hoops sure is. And pretty much everyone else, too.
$150 PARLAY Virginia Tech -10 & Louisville -3 - "My Eff You Jamie I'm making up some ground on you this week" pick.
OK, maybe not.
$25 Alabama -20.5 - Still not sure Arkansas should be considered an FBS team at the moment.
$25 USF -7.5 - Basically for this post. I'm still laughing.
I have to continue after the jump because of the great gunsby's very subliminal message in his picks.
Now then. Gunsby's picks.
$100 on Northern Illinois (-3) vs. Army
$30 on Louisville (-3) vs. North Carolina
$25 parlay on Kentucky (-7) over Western Kentucky and Minnesota (-2.5) vs. Western Michigan
$20 on Kansas State (-28) over North Texas
$10 on Wake Forest (+28) vs. Florida State
$10 on Texas A&M (-12.5) vs. SMU
$10 on Northwestern (-3.5) vs. Boston College
$10 on Penn State (-6) vs. Navy
$1 on USF (-7.5) vs. FUCK YOU RUTGERS Rutgers
Next to Scott from Bearcats Blog, who found his own way to lose a lot of fake money.
Ohio State -16.5 Alabama -20.5 Boise -21 parlay for 100
Florida +3, Notre Dame +6, Georgia Tech -10.5 parlay for 50
Louisville -3 for 50
Va Tech -10 for 50
Here's Kevin from The UConn Blog with his picks. Unfortunately he has lost all of them already.
$150 - PARLAY Virginia Tech (-10) vs. Pittsburgh, Northwestern (-3.5) over Boston College
$50 - Northern Illinois (-3) over Army
$24- UConn (-3) vs. Maryland
$25- UConn and Maryland UNDER 42.5
Mike will now continue to plumb the depths of low-stakes Sun Belt wagering.
I really hope someone puts some kind of money on UL-Monroe at Auburn this week. However, I won't be that guy. I'm in a $58 hole right now, and everyone knows that the only solution to that is to gamble more.
It's that time of the week again. The weekly Fuck UCF bet! Note: Still purely a coincidence that I've bet against them every week. FIU beat them last year. Spoiler alert: I'm betting against them in their next game too.$20 on FIU (+16.5) at UCF and UNLV (+250), because evidently I really, really, hate my money.
My poor hometown FAU is headed to Georgia this weekend after getting bulldozed by MTSU. At least they can take solace in knowing that they'll have won me some fake money.
$50 parlay on Georgia (-42) vs. FAU and Virginia Tech (-10) at Pitt.
Is everyone's mandatory Big East bet going to be on Louisville this week? Because it should. Pitt doesn't count, because you don't have to be in the Big East to bet on that one, and I've learned to never touch a game that has the word "Maryland" in it, for mental health reasons.
$25 parlay on Louisville (-3), Northwestern (-3.5), and Texas (-10).
Here are Collin's picks, and like me he was wise to not tie up too much of his fake money in that Virginia Tech-Pittsburgh game.
$50 Va Tech -10 over Pitt. Gimme Money May's bankroll, this line, and the ability to bet at multiple casino windows at once. The Collinpolitan would be open next week. And can you imagine the pool parties at that place? Volleyball nets, backboards and rims in every cabana, dogs everywhere, dart boards, $100 games of beer pong and civil war, Crown Royal on tap, lifetime VIP access for guys like Marlyn Bryant and McHugh Mattis, the Sun Doll Spray Tan Zone Presented By Southern Comfort... wait... did it just get creepy in here?
$190 Louisville -3 over UNC. Look, as Jamie and I proved in Reno last week... we can bet some college foo'ball. And when we tell you to go all-in, you can safely go all in. This is an absolute joke. I mean do you know how much UNC sucks?? And that UL is legitimately good?? This is insanity. Why does the Fed need QE3 when Las Vegas is just printing cash for you this week?? My buddy Deuce lands in Vegas today (of course I have a friend named Deuce). I hope he's got Paypal.
$10 UConn vs. Maryland under 42.5. The Edsall Bowl. "I MIGHT BE BLIND AND ONLY HOLDING A SPORK, BUT I SHALL SLAY YOU!!" "OH NO, DEAR SIR!! THOUGH I MAY BE BOUND TO THIS WHEELCHAIR AND NAKED SAVE FOR THIS THUMB TACK I HOLD THUSLY, I SHALL MAKE THEE MORTAL!!"
Unfortunately, our blog's collective wisdom with the Hokies did not extend to GarySJ.
My maximum allowable wager on Virginia Tech -10 over Pittsburgh. That is the stupidest line I've ever seen. I'd bet my whole bankroll on it if I could. Yeah, I know Virginia Tech has a habit of crapping the bed against weak opponents, and their running game isn't up to its usual level. I'll take my chances; it's the equivalent of getting all in with pocket aces.
$1 on USF -7.5 over Rutgers
$1 on UConn -3 over UMass
In a related story, my hotel last weekend in Reno gave you a sympathy payout if you went in with pocket aces and they got cracked. Too bad this isn't my hotel.
Let's go to John from Owlsblog.
$20 on Michigan at -45.5
$35 on Minnesota at -2.5
$50 on Maryland at +3 (OUTRIGHT!)
Next up is ULismyhothotsex from Card Chronicle, now freed from his obligation to fake bet on Texas State.
$110 Louisville -3
$110 V-Tech -10
$30 Parlay (Louisville -3, VTech -10, Ball State +2.5)
Andrew from The UConn Blog has also joined the group of contestants who blew all their fake money on Virginia Tech this week. Sorry about that.
$248 Parlay: Virginia Tech -10, Louisville -3, UConn and Maryland UNDER 42.5
$1 UConn -3 over Maryland
$1 If I could take Stony Brook over Syracuse I would, but instead I'll take Navy +6 against Penn State.
And that'll be it for this week, since WVUIE97 from The Smoking Musket took the week off. Check back on Tuesday for the final tally on this carnage.