FanPost

How the Fitch Stole Christmas

Grinchx_medium

For all of the Bulls all over the Bay,

A deep feeling of gloom, there is no bowl to play.

No place to go at the end of the season

No cause to cheer and the Fitch is the reason.

The Fitch hated the bowls.

No one is sure why.

His heart is where all the bowl dreams go to die.

"The games on the gridiron should end after Fall.

I don't like the post season. I don't like it at all."

He thought to himself, "I must end this bowl streak.

The thought of a bowl game just make me feel weak."

"There will be no Belk's! No Pinstripe! No Compass!

I'll kill any hope of a wild Orange Bowl rumpus!"

"I must concoct a diabolical scheme.

I will end this madness, I will crush the Bulls dreams!"

He thought and he thought 'til his thinker was sore.

He thought about ways for the team not to score.

Then his Fitch face spread into a fitchy fitch grin.

"When I find plays that work, I won't run them again!"

"If we move through the air, I'll switch to the ground!

Yes, this is the ticket! This plan is quite sound!"

"But what if we gain yards despite my charade?

If we're close to the goal line I'll run FADES, FADES, FADES, FADES!"

"Fades to the left and fades to the right! We won't score a point, I'll run fades all damn night!"

"I'll mix in a screen, then a badly timed draw!

We won't move the ball! We won't move it at all!"

The Fitch led the offense with his evil Fitch ways.

The season progressed, the team in a daze.

There were mixups, and screw ups, and foul ups aplenty.

"Run some more fade routes! We've only run twenty!"

The Fitch's plan worked, it worked to perfection.

The Bulls season went in a downward direction.

There would be no bowl, to the fans' disbelief.

No trip to the Champs, not even the Beef's.

The evil Fitch laughed and then said with a sneer, "If you thought this was bad, just wait 'til next year!"

Merry Christmas!

@EvilSkipHoltz

This post was created by one of our blog's readers.

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