DISCLAIMER: This contest is for entertainment purposes only. No actual wagering is being performed.
BONUS DISCLAIMER: Monopoly and Rich Uncle Pennybags are trademarks of Parker Brothers. The card is just a parody.
I think we've found a loophole to close in the rules when we do this again next year.
When we decided to allow parlays and teasers in this contest, we knew someone could invest a small amount in a ridiculous bet and somehow win a bunch of fake money. But we didn't expect that someone would hit the "fuck it" button, make a max bet on one of these crazy parlays, and win like Andrew from The UConn Blog did last week. That meant everyone had to make even crazier bets to try and catch him, and lightning struck a couple more times this week, and now we're all plummeting down the rabbit hole with terrifying speed.
It looked for a brief minute that Hoya Suxa was going to surge right past Andrew to the top of the standings when we found out he had cashed in a five-team tease and two separate three-teamers. But that was short-lived, because then we discovered Scott had hit a seven-goddamn-team tease at $248. Paid out at 75-to-1 odds, that bet alone was worth $18,600 in fake money.
So now, here are the latest standings. Poor Andrew - all he did was hit a $744 bet on his own team, and he's gone from being $5,000 in front to nearly $12,000 behind.
- Scott, Bearcats Blog: $18,988.82 (+$18,598.00)
- Hoya Suxa: $8,379.44 (+$7,142.52)
- Andrew Porter, The UConn Blog: $7,024.19 (+$681.82)
- Casual Hoya: $879.44 ($0)
- Ken DeCelles: $877.68 (-$248.09)
- Chas Rich, Pitt Blather: $784.18 ($0)
- Kevin Meacham, The UConn Blog: $685.01 (-$247.45)
- WVUIE97, The Smoking Musket: $630.97 (-$247.09)
- Sean Keeley, Troy Nunes Is an Absolute Magician: $574.55 ($0)
- Chris Lane, The Nova Blog - $312.35 (-$246.18)
- Voodoo 5: -$129.60 ($0)
- Toro Grande: -$305.07 ($0)
Here are the individual bets laid out in Microsoft Excel if you want to see where Scott, Glaude, and Andrew made all their money.
The best bet is pretty obvious, and the worst bet is incredibly subjective since everyone is making "bad" bets to try and catch up. Chris's three-team parlay, though, was just a little bit worse, and by far the most degenerate of the bunch. He put Louisiana-Lafayette and Vanderbilt in his parlay, and I figure this was based on him not seeing them play at all this year, and maybe not ever.
Our advice to Chris if he ever wants to get back into this thing can be found after the jump.